Having and Managing Doable Goals

When I was in grade school and middle school, I was in my school's Gifted and Talented program, and during grade school it was really fun, because we got to do little crafts and have a good time going on trips and stuff. But when I got into middle school, the coordinator of the Gifted and Talented program started requiring all of these expensive projects, and because my family couldn't afford it at the time I had to drop out of it.

Being in the Gifted and Talented program as a child set a dangerous paradigm of success for me when I was leaving high school and heading into adulthood, and it's a common ideology I've seen shared by other people who have been in similar programs. There's a certain level of anxiety inherit with being told you're a cut above the "average" student, and then the feelings of worry of having nothing about your future figured out.

i don't know why this meme is airbrushed so much???

This is all conjecture and matter of opinion, but I think what it ultimately boils down to is the fact that many of us were never taught how to managing goals, and more importantly, managing doable goals. It's easy to feel overwhelmed when you think, "I have to have my BA by the time I'm 22, then I need to be married by 24 so I can have my first child before 26 so I can have my second child before 28 so I can--"

And the list can go on as long as your brain and anxiety let it go on for, until you're planning for your own death at 21 years old sitting in an English classroom lecture. It's never bad to have goals for yourself, to plan achievements for yourself. The key to not spiraling out of control is to make sure the goals are doable in the first place, and planning enough time for you to succeed.

me stressing about my extravagant goals i've set for myself

After my first semester at Tech, I started writing what I had planned to be a novel. My goal, unrealistically, was to have the manuscript finished by August before the following Fall semester had begun, and be in discussion or working towards publishing by the time of my 26th birthday.

The initial project was scrapped, then I started over on something new, and then I got bogged down with schoolwork and other matters during the Spring semester that I really wasn't able to touch the manuscript at all. All through summer, I tried to make myself work on it, but I was so panicked about needing to have it done by a certain point that I was stifling my own creativity, and I added some negligible amount of words to it and ended up beating myself up about it.

me throughout 2016

My panic and my anxiety about not finishing the thing is what ended up making me unable to finish the thing I was trying to finish. When you set unreachable goals for yourself, it causes problems. It's really important to set goals for yourself, but to also understand that they aren't etched in stone. It is more than okay to say to yourself, "I need more time to complete this." It's okay to say, "Mm, something I hadn't quite planned for has come up and it is drawing my attention away, and it's more of a priority, so this goal needs to be on the back-burner for just a little bit."

At the end of last semester, my professor told me I needed to finish the screenplay I was working on. As soon as classes were over, I was working myself into a frenzy, trying to write more on it every day. But the writing, if I'm being honest with myself, is not as good or as creative as I want it to be. And I know, first drafts are never perfect, and I don't expect it to be perfect, but I expect it to be as good as other first drafts I've created and it's not there yet.

I realized I was pushing myself towards a goal that I may not even want right now. Writing a screenplay is challenging and it would be neat to see something I've written in a movie theater or on Netflix or whatever. A professor I respected in class had given me extraordinary praise by telling me to finish the screenplay, but there are other factors that go into pitching a screenplay, like agents, and who you know in the industry, and they typically want you to keep making money for them.

And I don't necessarily know if writing screenplays is something I enjoy all that much. It's challenging and everything, but I don't know if it's my cup of tea.

Lately I've been working on a manuscript for a fiction novel; isn't that always my way, I have trouble with one thing and start an entirely new thing. I've been making good progress on this one, and I've been able to do that by more carefully managing the goals I set for myself.

actual real life image of me with all of my side projects

On a given day I might say, "Let's try to add 500 words to this," and then if I hit that goal, I feel accomplished! But if I start feeling bogged down, or I can't concentrate because I'm busy at work, or feeling stuck at the particular section I'm in (happening right now) then I cut myself a break, because you can't be on 100% all the time, and you can't force creativity because if you could there would be people constantly creating amazing things.

Basically, the gist of what I'm saying is this: cut yourself some slack. Rome wasn't built in a day, and any other cliche relating to this that you can think of. It's summer, relax a little. The world will still be around tomorrow for you to achieve your goals, and if it's not, then would busting your ass the day before the world ends have been worth that much? Enjoy things in life; you're allowed.