Becoming Your Own Inspiration

In the United States' current political climate, it's hard for myself and other people within marginalized groups to believe that anything will get better for us. The White House has not issued a public statement acknowledging Ramadan or Pride Month, and as of writing this, they have not issued a statement marking the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision to legalize same-sex marriage.

For myself, it feels like all of the strides in progress and understanding we've made in the past is being ripped and torn down before our very eyes. The Department of Education has plans to undo the hallmark student loan forgiveness program utilized by many teachers and educators. The head of the Department of Housing, Ben Carson, has likened his campaign for presidency as a collective fever-dream of the American public, saying that he has "no memory" of running for President, and that also poor people should just stop being poor if they really want to.

I follow an amazing person on Twitter and Tumblr by the name of Jeffrey Marsh, who delivered an amazing TED talk on "How to Be You," based on their book that was published back in 2016. The video of the entire TED talk is available on YouTube, and I recommend you watch the whole thing. It's very short, only two minutes or so, but in their talk, Jeffrey drops some useful knowledge on how to be your best self, and to really own it.

There were two things that Jeffrey talks about that really stuck with me. The first, they walk the audience (and viewers) through a Buddhist "experience," where a person (or group of people in this case) close their eyes and are led in a form of guided meditation. Jeffrey asks the members of the audience to "recall a time when someone told you that you were too much. . . fill in the blank, 'you're too blank.'"

They ask audience members to shout out what they were told by people in their lives. "Too needy," someone shouts. "Too dramatic," says another person.

Jeffrey goes on to talk about how the thing that you were told that you were too much of can become the basis for your own activism. "Whatever it was that you learned is the thing that's too much about you can be bent, can be flipped, can be loved."

To the person who was told they were too loud, Jeffrey says they need to be on the front lines, leading the charge in protests, raising their voice. To the person who was told that they were too needy, Jeffrey says they can take that empathy and understanding for others that they've learned from being "too needy" and be an ally and friend to marginalized people.

The other thing that Jeffrey said that stuck with me was that you can accomplish so much just by being visible, by being here on this Earth, and being yourself. Jeffrey said in their talk, "I get messages that always say the same thing: 'if you can be yourself, then so can I.'" Jeffrey as a genderqueer/gender nonconforming person openly talks about the ridicule they have received in their life, but also how just by living with their videos of encouragement on social media, and the books they've written, people have come to them and said, 'I was going to kill myself, but then I saw you. If you can be yourself, so can I.'

It's an encouraging thought to think that you might be doing good in the world, saving someone's life just by existing. Just by being visible. It's not something I thought about until I watched Jeffrey's TED talk. Jeffrey saves someone's life probably every day, just by being open about who they are, what it means to be them.

I thought about deleting my blog, just because I felt as if I wasn't getting as many views. But if I stop writing, how will I know if someone who needs it can't see it anymore? How do I really know if someone needed it, or it helped someone who read it?

You can be that source of encouragement and inspiration, if to no one else but yourself. It entirely starts with you; that's the really important part. Because if you can't love, can't be proud of yourself, who can you love? How can you recognize the achievements of others, when you can't see your own?

This goes back to having manageable goals, as well. You can't change the world overnight, unfortunate as it might feel sometimes, but in the course of a night you can begin. The change starts with you, and from there, it's a day-by-day process.

One last piece of advice from Jeffrey's TED talk is this: "What was done to you [in the past] is nobody's business. What you do with what's been done to you is the world's business." And what they means by that is the pain and the hurt, the joy and the happiness, the love and loss you have experienced is nobody's business but yours. However, what you do with those experiences, how you utilize them in your life, in your career, in your relationships is how you leave your mark on the world.